Lost in Transition

I'm feeling lost in transition at the moment. Do you ever feel that way?

For the past two plus years, since the car accident and subsequent shoulder dislocation, two surgeries, broken arm and more therapy than I ever cared to go through in my life, my function has been dramatically impacted. I've spent most of the last two years in bed when I wasn't at work struggling to get through my day.

Prior to the accident, I was 70 pounds lighter. I exercised for 90 minutes a day. I took my kids to the park and ran around the house chasing them. We went hiking as a family. Hubby and I played golf. I sewed. I made stained glass. I went to glass blowing classes. And then everything changed in an instant. I didn't know who I was or where I was going (the definition of transition). I went into a deep depression that despite medication, I'm not 100% sure I'm completely out of.

The past month, I've been slowly regaining my life. I can sew now. I tried stained glass last week, and I can do that too! I'm rusty, but it will come back. I'm working in the yard and gardening (although my body isn't as excited about this as my heart is). I went back to work, and it was amazing what I could do again. I still need to lay down when I do too much, but I'm so much closer to who I was. It's been wonderful being able to DO again.

Granted, I took up new hobbies to keep myself occupied - painting, photography, blogging, and I even learned a little photoshop along the way. Those skills saved me from drowning in the chronic pain, but they didn't define who I was. They were substitutes. I'm glad I learned them, but they didn't solve the problem at hand. They were a coping strategy - one I am profoundly grateful for. Eating was my other coping strategy, but that's another post.

Last night I was searching for a photograph I had planned to edit, and I stumbled across pictures I had never seen before. They were pictures my mom had taken that I had offered to work on for her. We were at Build A Bear with the kids - their first trip. There was a woman in the photos I didn't recognize - literally DID NOT recognize. She was thin, had curly hair, she was working with my child. I kept looking at that photo. Who was she? I flipped to the next photo. She had on Crocs. My black crocs. I realized, she was me. ME!

Most of the pictures I have don't have me in them - b/c I was taking them. I have pictures of me, but I've seen them a million times. There is no surprise in viewing them. I know what I looked like on that day. I know I was thin back then. I know, I know. The nagging voice in my head telling me I need to lose the weight again always grows louder when I view those old photos. I have a well placed wall of protection I put up in preparation for hearing that voice that makes me feel so bad when I see those old photos.

Only this time, when I saw that old photo of myself - there were no walls. No defenses. No nagging voice. Just curiosity - who was this woman? Nothing could prepare me for the truth that had been staring back at me in the mirror for so long. I was shocked, truly shocked, at the image of what I used to be.

It's just a picture, I know. It's more than that though. It's a picture of who I used to be. An image that perfectly captured the woman I was. The woman I no longer I am. Only, given what I've been through, she's the woman I will never be again.

Once you've been through a major life disruption, even if you regain all of your old self, you can never go back to being just that person because you are different now. You have more life experience. You have new scars (be they emotional or physical).

All this time, I've been trying to find my way back to who I was before all this started. I thought that going back to who I was would resolve my issues with who I was forced to become. I thought going back would allow me to go forward. Now I realize that going back is simply, going back. It's no kind of forward at all. But now I'm not sure how to go forward. I'm not sure even of which direction to turn. And I find myself, more than a little lost between the shore of what was and the shore of what will be. And I don't really know what to do about that which makes me feel like I'm adrift. And I really don't like being adrift. I'm a focused, driven, purposeful sort of person. Aimless drives me crazy because its the antithesis of ME - and ME is who I so desperately want to BE!

I'm smack dab in the middle of 'in the meantime'...

What about you - have you ever been lost in transition? What did you do? How did you handle it?

Sunday Sketches

I have a pretty significant "interest" (borderline obsession) with greenhouses and barns. I really can't tell you why or how it started, just that I find true beauty in both buildings. I've taken lots of pictures of them over the years, but I've never attempted to sketch one. We are on vacation at the moment. Naturally, since I am relaxed, inspiration struck when I saw the picture below. Unfortunately, I didn't bring my drawing pencils or smudge sticks with me. Thankfully, I did think to bring my sketchbook, an eraser, and a mechanical pencil though!

I've always loved the romantic cottage style gardens, but I don't live in a place which accommodates a cottage garden or a greenhouse for that matter. And if you can't own one, you can at least dream about one, right? I found this image of a greenhouse in one of my favorite magazines "Flea Market Style". If you love all things old, as I do, it's a magazine that will cater to you! I tore it out of the magazine (to the horror of my 5 year old who admonished me for "ripping books").

My rendering of it is below.

I'm still learning to sketch (as you can see). I've got a little bit of knowledge about shading but not so much that I shaded this one correctly. I'm better at understanding spatial relationships in 3D than I am at knowing how to shade my objects in 3D.

I'm open to suggestions to all of you sketchers out there! What do you think is the best way to learn how to shade 3D?

I also have NO idea how to sketch foliage, though I can manage a simple pot. I didn't have time to try to figure it out and post, so I focused more on the inside adding a potting bench and small table.

For fun I added the chandelier (in case you didn't know what squiggly thing in the middle is).

Hope you are all having a wonderful Sunday! I can't wait to see what everyone is up to!

Happy PPF and Sneak Peek Friday!

I hope you've all had a great week, and I can't wait to see what everyone has been up to!! I didn't have time to post or participate last week, so I am thrilled to be back this week! YAY!

I had an exciting week!! Since the car accident/shoulder dislocation/broken arm/2 surgeries issues spanning the last 2.5 years, I haven't been able to sew (which has always been my go to artistic form). It was tough to adjust to at first, but it led me to try painting! SO, who am I to complain? A girl can't have too many artistic endeavors, right?

Well, as it happens, I had several days sans drugs this week (I can't tell you how wonderful that is), and I decided to give a simple sewing project a whirl! My poor machine had a thick layer of dust from 2+ years of neglect. I wasn't sure the old girl would work without a serious servicing. I crossed my fingers, blew her off, and turned her on (were I a man, I think this post would be starting to sound inappropriate right about now).

Anyway, I took a deep breath, and started to sew. I limited my time to 10 minutes - which is all I really needed anyway. And - miracles of miracles I CAN SEW!!!!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!!! Sewing may not sound exciting, but imagine if someone told you weren't allowed to sketch or paint for the past 2 years, and then being given the gift of doing it again! Trust me, it would be amazing!

I sewed for 3 days - which is why I didn't have much time to paint - which is why I'm telling you all of this in the first place. SO, capitalizing on my sewing success, I decided to give resin a try.

Resin you ask? How in the world does resin tie into painting? Well, I had a couple of small bird house shaped pendant trays which I had hand formed prior to the afore mentioned shoulder issues, which had been laying around for...well...ever. I had intended to solder them, but I had nerve damage in my hand (again from that shoulder thing) and the idea of holding a 700+ degree soldering iron in a hand that tended to drop things seemed like a good reason to put it off. Don't you think?

So, they sat, and sat, and sat some more. I moved them around, stared at them longingly, rearranged them in different stacks, and stared at them some more. Until this week....

I doodled a few sketches, added some paint, played with the composition, and then, it was time to pour the resin! I was excited! I was stoked! I was dying to finally crack open the Ice Resin that had been sitting in my studio for SOOO long!

I got all prepped.

Cover surface - check!

Light to help them cure - check!

Little mixing cups and stir sticks - check!

Bottle of Resin and Bottle of Hardner - check!

I opened the bottle of resin, only to discover, it WAS AS HARD AS...WELL...RESIN! WHAAAAAT?!!! How could my resin be hard in the bottle that had never opened? It's still a mystery, but it was useless!

Thankfully, thankfully, I had some Ranger Glossy accents which works sort of like resin. Apparently, it doesn't play well with pan pastels or permanent black ink though and it caused some blueing - but that's okay! It was a good first try, and I am happy with the outcome. Unfortunately, my little painted bird and cage did not dry in time for this post - so the most you get here is doodly painting. Sorry :( Stay tuned for next week....

Without further adieu....

Fate is the Key!

The words seemed appropriate for this post!

And now, for your Friday funny. Conversations with Mackenzie (age 5) - who has been torturing her older brother (and by extension, her mother) ALLLLL week! If I didn't know better, I would swear someone had given her a road map to my last nerve!

She came out of the shower all nice and relaxed, turned the corner to go upstairs, and her brother jumped out and yelled "BOO!" which scared the be-jesus out of her! She had it coming though. He has the nail and bite marks to prove it. After she calmed down, she said "Jack, you really shouldn't do that. It's very disrespectful to me!". That's how your 5 year old speaks, right?

Happy Friday everyone!

How to Clog Your Dyson Vacuum in 11 Easy Steps

Step 1. Have a Dyson because they're "guaranteed not to lose suction".

Step 2. Have a dog who is hyper active and likes to mouse (a destructive cat will also do).

Step 3. Have a small mice/rat problem (don't worry - it's being treated - if it wasn't the name of this post would be "Welcome to My New Home").

Step 4. Have a small rodent get into your crawl space where the dog (or cat) can hear it. You only need one to drive the dog crazy.

Step 5. Have dog spend the day, the night and all the next day guarding the area of your carpet where the dog can hear the rodent. I know what you're thinking - this step should be 'go under the house and find the rodent'. We've tried that - we've even let the dog try that. We've even had the pest people try - and they can't find them - but they baited the heck out of the crawl space. SO, we've given up trying to find it too!

Step 6. Wait for the dog to grow impatient and start digging through your carpet AND the pad (the pad part is important) down to the sub floor in the middle of the night.

Step 7. Awaken to complete disaster in your dining room and large bare area of subfloor. Because what you needed at 5:30 in the morning is a major disaster on your hands.

Step 8. Roll your eyes, wake cranky husband up and alert him to the issue, cover the hole to prevent further damage and head out the door to work. Silently cuss at the dog in your head.

Step 9. Have husband decide that the vacuum is the best option and vacuum up large pieces of the carpet pad thus clogging the vacuum. Have husband forget to tell you that he clogged it.

Step 10. Wait for dog hair to pile up on the carpet. Then try to vacuum only to realize it has lost it's suction (some guarantee!).

Step 11. Call husband at work, take deep calming breaths while you contemplate raking up dog hair.

If Alice had a Sister - The Mad Tea Party 2011

Hello and welcome if this is your first time to my blog! This is my first time participating in the Mad Tea Party, and I am super excited, if not a little late, to join in the fun!

Below is my painting for the big day. It's a picture of my daughter, Mackenzie, when we took her to her very first afternoon tea. I snapped the picture for posterity, but when I saw it, it reminded me of Alice in Wonderland. And I thought to myself that she looked like Alice's little sister. My mind began to wonder into my daydream world, and I wondered what Alice's little sister would say and do. Thus, a poem was born! (It's under the painting).

I had a burning desire to paint my daughter as Alice's little sister, but alas, I had no painting skills a year ago when the idea was born. I've gained a few since then, gradually working up my nerve to give this a try. I typically do collage work and abstract pieces, so this is my first portrait.

Although I am pleased with it overall, I can already see the things I need to adjust in it. Unfortunately, I ran out of time today, so I am posting where she is at now.

I hope you like it (be kind and lie to me if you don't)!

Without further adieu...


The poem reads:

If Alice had a sister,
I think she's have a lot to say.
I think she'd make up stories
and dream her day away.

If Alice had a sister,
I think she's want to play,
and have lots of tea parties
throughout the month of May.

If Alice had a sister,
I think she'd be okay
with taking a trip to Wonderland,
but only if Alice would stay.

This is the original picture the painting was based off of:

These are Mackenzie's rules for tea - taken from my original post.

Conversations with Mackenzie:

After what I felt was a thorough review of appropriate behavior for tea, I say
"Okay, what are the rules for tea?"

Mackenzie (age 4) says very matter-of-factly "We are not supposed to burp or toot!"

Jack (age 7) "WHAT?!! I'm not going to tea!"

Me "Don't start! Don't even think about starting, Jack"

Mackenzie "I'm not supposed to show my underwear either, am I, mommy?"

Me (stifling a big giggle) "No, honey. You aren't supposed to show your underwear at tea"

So, if ever you need to review the rules for high tea, remember that you aren't supposed to burp or toot and you shouldn't show your underwear. Just in case you weren't clear about that.

Painted metal pendant

Happy PPF and Sneak Peek Friday!

I'm a bit late to the party this week! I work in the schools,and this was our last week - which entails short deadlines, last minute requests, and lots of chaos! I collapsed into bed last night before I could write this post. I woke up refreshed and ready to go today!

I thought I would have my painting - If Alice had a Sister - finished, but as you read above, there was no time. I'm finishing it today for tomorrow's deadline. I'll try to update this post with a pic when it's finished. Fingers crossed! Update - here is the 90% finished piece! The link to the post is above!

Being short on time and long on my desire to create, inspired me to work on some unfinished jewelry pieces that have been laying around the studio. I have a love of all things old. If it's old and rusty, I'm interested, but if it's old and sparkly, I must have it!

Recently I found a few foil back glass pendants which were in mint condition - one was red, my favorite color! These types of pendants are not a typical size, so a pre made setting isn't an option. I decided to create one from metal I had already embossed. I should note that the foil on the backs of these is easily damaged, so it needs to be protected from wear and tear .

BUT, last night while working on this piece, I realized that aged brass was a better fit than silver. I debated for a while on what to do, and thought I might try painting the metal.

The metal is attached to the pendant via silver foil tape which was also painted. It's a bit brighter in the pic than in real life. I sealed it with gloss medium which accounts for some of the brightness in the pic. Here's the finished piece. Thankfully, the paint won't be seen much. The cream beads are from an old rosary I couldn't repair.

And now for your Friday dose of funny - Conversation's with Mackenzie on her field trip to the zoo.

Me "How was the zoo?

Her "It was awesome."

Me "What was your favorite part"

Her "The PENGUINS!!! It was off the hook, Mom!"

Because, you know, we talk like that all the time....

It's Complicated Water Color Skin

Happy PPF and Sneak Peek Friday!

This piece is called It's Complicated because, well, it was a complicated process. In fact, I can't fully remember all the steps. You can skip the process part and jump to the painting if you want. I totally understand!

It started with a watercolor skin made from some left over paint on my palette. I added torn cheese cloth and part of a used dryer sheet both of which I dyed with a watery red paint mixture prior to applying (it's possible that the left over paint was from dyeing the cloth).

The skin dried orange, instead of red, so I added red to the back of it (which didn't do much). I added crimson glaze to the front to bring the red tones out which helped. When I removed the skin from it's backing, it stretched and rippled (which I liked).

I thought it needed more texture and wanted to echo the rippled/stretched effect. Actually, I wanted an excuse to use my new glass bead gel, so this was it. Julie Prichard and Chris Cozen introduced me to Glass bead gel, and let me tell you, I have a bit of an addiction. I added random pieces of dried glass bead gel (painted with crimson glaze) to the piece, then decided to try to sculpt it by draping it over pencils and leaving it to set for a few days. It's more dominant than I intended, but it definitely added interest.

The water color skin is transparent, so I added strips of transparencies which were printed with a picture of a flower and it's green leaves. I also mono printed the paper with the dashes on it using Acrylic Open Medium with paint, a brayer and a texture plate for opacity.

I had no idea what color to paint the canvas before applying the watercolor skin, so I asked hubby (who has an art background) and he suggested Pthalo blue (green shade). This was an unhappy accident as it washed out the water color skin and rendered it useless. So, I added an interference color to reflect the light back out through the water color skin which saved the piece.

And there you have it. Whew!! Like I said, it's complicated!

I'm also working on a piece for the Mad Hatter's Tea Party. You can visit the challenge here. I'm painting a large canvas from a picture of my daughter, Mackenzie, the first time I took her High Tea. If you need a laugh, you should check out Mackenzie's rules for tea. Here's your sneak peek pic. I wrote a poem for the piece called If Alice had a Sister. Finally, I'm adding words to a painting!

I can't wait to blog hop this weekend and see what everyone is up to! I have a nasty cold and a date with my bed for some much needed rest this weekend. It's the perfect excuse to spend my day getting my art fix on!

Sunday Sketches - Aren't we a Pear?

I'm new to Sunday Sketches, and so excited to put my first post up! I've been checking it out for a while now, but have never actually posted.

I have an affinity for mixed media pieces, but I especially love my water color pencils. They are so forgiving. When I first started with them, I used a brush to blend the colors. I have young children though, and they inevitably knocked the cup of water over, or took it to use with their paints. I couldn't always find a cup to use either. Then I discovered Copic markers makes a clear blender. It has a broad end for larger areas, and a fine tip paint brush end for detail work. A love affair was born!

In the piece below, I used my water color pencils to sketch the pears and fill them in, then blended with a Copic marker. The background, believe it or not, is made from large sheets of watercolored paper that I paint randomly then cut them up to make a "sketch" book. It's more blue in person, but I'm not sophisticated enough to fix it in Photoshop.

I don't always have a full concept in mind when I start a sketch, so I cheat and cut the finished focal piece out and adhere it to my background. I then add collage elements to support it.

I hope you like it! I call it "Aren't We a Pear" - because I'm terrible at naming paintings ;)

And now, for your Sunday dose of funny

Conversations with Mackenzie (age 5)

Her "Mom, can I have a sharpie?"

Appropriate Mom warning bells go off

Me "Whhhyyyy?"

Her "I need to write a note to the birds to tell them (she turns to the birds) to STOP POOPING ON MY SLIDE!"

Me "Sure"

She wrote them a note and made sure to add the consequence "If you poop on my slide again, I'm taking it down and you won't be able to do it anymore!"

Always in My Heart

Happy PPF everyone! I'm late to the party this week and missed last week all together (yikes!).

I have a new vinyl project started. So far it just has black lines (not really post worthy). I'm hoping to have it ready for PPF next week. It's my first large piece ever (read intimidating). Stay tuned...

In the mean time, I decided to post a piece I did last year. It's a deeply personal piece for me, and I've never shared it before. I'm sure we all have someone who lives in our heart. Here is the story of mine.

In between the birth of my oldest, and Mackenzie, we had three miscarriages. The last one was particularly difficult because I had felt her kick. We named her Kayla, and planted pink tulips in our front yard to remember her by. A month later, we were pregnant with Mackenzie (she has her own story, but that's another post).

Everyone handles grief in their own way. I decided to paint. This piece is called Always in My Heart for my baby girl, who lives there.

In other frivolous and completely unrelated news, I bought a new rose for my garden. It was too beautiful to pass up when I saw it at the rose farm . I thought you might enjoy it too!

Last but not least, conversations with Mackenzie, on how she would like her spaghetti.

Me "Do you want sauce or just noodles?"

Her "I want just a bit of sauce on 1/4 of my noodles, a little pinch of salt on 1/4 of the noodles, and some grated cheese on the rest"

Me "So, yes?"

Now I ask you, where does this child think she lives?

Happy PFF everyone!

Happy PPF!

A crazy thing happened in Seattle this week - SUNSHINE and WARM weather. No seriously - the sun shined - for...like...days! It was SO distracting! Incredibly distracting. I got a whole lot of nothing done this week because I was outside as often as possible...just being in the sun. It was glorious I tell you. Fortunately, the rain came back today, so we could all get back to work.

Unfortunately, I didn't get my piece entirely finished in time for PPF. Even worse, I didn't get to visit for PPF last week! I'll be making up for this week! I promise. Double duty for me - last week and this week!

Enough gabbing! I'm posting what I have done so far.

This is a bit (just a bit) of departure from vinyl. The piece has a water color skin (top left corner) which I printed part of the archway/doorway on (technique courtesy of Miss Julie P and Chris C).

Unfortunately, I forgot to seal the picture prior to applying a gel topcoat. The gel separated, and the ink ran causing the image to blur. I really liked the effect though and decided to run with it. There's crackle paste all over, some paint of course, and a bit of cheese cloth to tie the whole thing together. I still need to blend the edges of the water color skin and the transparency so they melt into the painting more. Hopefully we won't have sun next week. WAIT - did I just say that?!

Someday, I hope my photography skills catch up, so I can take a decent shot of my art work.

It cracks me up that I can take shots like this



and this

but still struggle with getting a straight on shot of a piece of art. Someone feel free to lie to me and tell me it's my lens or something!

ONE LAST BUT VERY IMPORTANT THING! And the winner is.....Heather Foust!!! Congratulations Heather! I used www.random.org's sequence generator to randomly generate the winning number because you're all too fabulous for me to pick just one!!!

Oh my GOSH! I almost forgot my conversation with Mackenzie. I'm telling you, the sun has made me lose my mind! Here it is!

Convo's w/Mackenzie (age 5) who needed me to get a bowl down for her cottage cheese
Her "Bowl!"
Me "Manners!"
Her "Please" she didn't actually roll her eyes, but her tone said she was thinking about it.

I have a feeling our conversations when she is a teenager will look like this
Her "Car keys"
Me "No"

One more funny - if you want to read on. In my house, if you use potty words, you get to go to the bathroom and think about it. And since my son is 8, and my daughter is 5, there are more potty words in a day than I care to acknowledge. Usually it's the little one, but on this occasion, it was my son.

15 minutes later, I found him squatting on top of the toilet lid reading a book, and the following conversation took place.
Me "Whyyyyyyy are you reading a book on top of the toilet"
Him "You told me to come in here, and I got bored."
Me (crap, I can't believe I forgot he was in there on time out) "You can come out now"
Him "Nah. I'm good"

That whole staying in the bathroom for a half hour thing that men do starts early, huh?

Vinyl Fever and Blog Give Away!

Happy PPF and Sneak Peek Friday!!

I decided to take vinyl to a new level and combine it with collage! This is my latest piece from my e-course Mixed Media Melange with Julie Prichard and Chris Cozen! (Give Away Below!)

She's not quite finished yet. Unfortunately, I messed up one of the flowers and couldn't repair it. As I was working on the back of the vinyl, I forgot to flip it over prior to stamping the notes. SO, the musical notes are on the wrong side - oops! I think it's still a good second piece though.

What do you think? She's also unnamed. Leave a comment and give me some suggestions please!

Alright - drum roll please! Time for my first BLOG GIVEAWAY! That's right - free stuff!! Woo Hoo!!!

The fabulous Julie Prichard and Chris Cozen are graciously offering all of my blog readers a chance to win one of their online workshops for FREE! We're talking FREE people! Leave a comment here on this post and one winner will be drawn on next Friday. The winner gets to choose ANY class that is currently being offered in the network! Suh-weet!!

Click here to see the class options.

http://www.julieprichard.com/mixed-media-workshops/

AND - if you visit Julie Prichard's blog this week, SHE is giving away a $25 gift certificate to Dick Blick - and who can't use that? I'm entering too!

And now, for your Friday dose of funny. Since there are two give away's - you get two stories!

Conversations with Mackenzie (age 5) whose favorite food group is meat - no seriously, meat. We can't take her past the meat counter in groceries stores b/c they draw her in like tractor beams and she starts giggling deliriously while saying "Meeeeat! Meeeeat!"

She asked to make blue jello, and while stirring her blue jello, she sniffed and said "Mmmmmm...it almost smells as good as meat!"

Me (thinking) "WHAT?!"

AND........

It's time for another episode of "Nice Mouth Mackenzie!"

Upon completing a piece of art work she was particularly proud of (I call it Paint Blobs on Paper) she fist pumped her little 5 year old hand and said "DAMN! That's goooooood!" Did I mention that we recently purchased extra bars of soap for her?

Leonardo da Vinyl

Hi and welcome if this is your first time to my blog! This is my first time participating in both Sneak Peek Friday and Paint Party Friday. I'm so excited to be a part of these events! Feel free to leave a comment - I promise I'll respond! Funny story is at the end, as usual! Enjoy!

My latest venture is painting on Vinyl - yep vinyl! It's a pretty fun technique, and I'm hopelessly addicted to it! If you are interested in learning the technique, you can investigate it in Julie Prichard's workshop Mixed Media Melange here. I've said it before, and I will say it again - I love, love, LOVE her workshops!

My first vinyl piece is cherry blossoms. I don't have a name for it yet - feel free to leave suggestions! The background is painted in multiple colors which were blended as I applied them - but it gives the piece a few highs and lows. Now I will admit, I was intimidated by this technique, so I kept my first piece simple. As I gain confidence with this technique (reverse collage painting on the vinyl), I will make more complicated back grounds.

So here she is

What do you think? The finished piece of vinyl is gallery wrapped around a piece of precut wood.

I have a second piece I've started on which has a bird image and flowers. Stay tuned next week, and I will post a picture of the finished piece!

And now for your daily dose of funny...

Convo's w/Mackenzie (age 5) on her new bathing suit: "MOM! GUESS WHAT? I got a new bathing suit. It's blue with yellow flowers, and I have my own BOOB COVER and SKIRT! Isn't that great?" She starts skipping around and singing "I've got a new boob cover! I've got a new boob cover!". Thankfully, she hasn't announced this in public...yet!

You can get the full story here.

If you're interested in more Convo's w/Mackenzie, you can find them on my other blog here

Have fun!

Day 2 - The Red Sharpie Incident

Motherhood has given me many gifts over the years. Stretch marks, C-section scars, extra fat "storage" in places I've never stored it before, the Rota Virus (but that's another post) and gray hairs. Most of all, motherhood has given me laughter. I am blessed with two funny and curious kids whose antics remind me of young kittens finding trouble. They're mostly innocent (although the conspiring whispers I sometimes hear give them away), and then I hear panicked cries for help. And like most curious kittens, it happens quickly, and without warning.

For example, two weeks ago, hubs and I visited Home Depot to look at plants, and lumber for building a raised bed for gardening. We were momentarily distracted by shiny objects in the gardening department - namely new cushions for our patio chairs. The chairs are in good shape, but after 7 years, the cushions not to much. We found one we thought we would like and brought it home for trial. It was raining that day, so we left it in the house. It rained the next day too, so we still left it in the house...where my kids found it...and decided to use it as a primary mode of transportation DOWN the steps! They were pretty sneaky about it, and amazingly quiet, until they decided to give each other pushes to make the ride faster. Only my oldest is not so good with directional pushing and the youngest is, well, young, and she collided with something (I never got a straight answer as to what it was) resulting in a mild head bump (not to worry - no bleeding, bruising or swelling). A good lecture on safety, "what if we had to take that back?" mom speech and a healthy dose of guilt, and they sat quietly, no doubt dreaming up new ways to get into trouble.

This past weekend, my son was off his ADHD medication. He is silly even when he is on meds, but he can't not be silly, deliriously silly, when he is off meds. He gets distracted every two seconds even when he tries to focus. The good news is that he is the ultimate playmate for my 5 year old daughter when he is off meds. The bad news is that he tends to get into more mischief than usual. While we were all sitting together watching TV, he left to go to the bathroom - not an event which would signal the mom alarm bells - but it should have.

He came back a few minutes later, and proudly announced that he "look(ed) just like Daddy!" and was giggling hysterically. Daddy has a full beard and a mustache at the moment. SO, my son took a red pen and drew in a nice handle bar mustache and a "beard" multiple lines running down his chin...allllll over his chin. I almost giggled until I remembered that the only red pen in the house is a Sharpie. I inquired as to what he chose to use to "look just like Daddy". He proudly held up a Sharpie, a sudden look of kitten panic crossed his face. "IS IT PERMANENT?" I confirmed it was, and he said "Will it be on there for SCHOOL TOMORROW?". I confirmed it would be. "What do I DO???". Now I admit, I was tempted to say "Stay right there while I get my camera", but knowing how embarrassed he would be the next day, and only imagining the phone call home from school, I opted to be a responsible mother and told him to go wash his face while I contemplated whether or not a Mr. Clean eraser was safe for faces. Thankfully, 10 minutes of scrubbing later, he was able to get it off of his face.

I'm still just a little sorry that I didn't capture that moment for posterity though.

Reconnecting - I'm BACK baby!

Wow - I can't believe it's been a year since I got serious about my blog. I can't believe it's been 4 months since my last post (4 months ago I had my second shoulder surgery). What I really can't believe is my bad luck in falling down and breaking my arm (the very same arm that was operated on) on my first day back at work. Now that I can wiggle my fingers and turn my arm over to type, the writing begins.

First up - I meant to post this a looooong time ago, but it was during the dark months after my last surgery when in a narcotic/muscle relaxer haze. Anyway, my very good friend Jessica is an amazing photographer. She did her first bog giveaway for a free photo shoot if you were in the Seattle area. Stop by her blog to see her beautiful photographs, and stay tuned, in case she gives another shoot away! You can find her blog here
http://jldimagery.com/

Second up - I've decided to work on my networking with other artists more. I first started blogging to document not only the crazy life I lead, but also to connect with other artists. My dear friend Elizabeth Gonzales is having her second blog giveaway. I was fortunate to have won a print in her very first blog giveaway one year ago! I still treasure it to this day, and it sits prominently in my art studio. You can visit Elizabeth's blog here
http://elizabethglz.com/blog/2011/04/unexpected-gifts-and-a-celebration-giveaway/

I apologize - I'm still not savvy enough to know how to do the short link. I'm adding it to my things to learn to do this summer list!

Third up - I'm taking two art classes online at the moment with Julie Prichard - Mixed Media Melange and Pixels and Paint. Side Note - Thankfully I'm left handed (and I only seem to injure my right arm), so I can continue to draw and paint from time to time!
The class promo videos are here
http://www.julieprichard.com/mixed-media-workshops/

I really love her online workshops for several reasons. First, I love the ideas and inspiration I get from taking her work shops. Her videos have so much information (and you get so many during the class) that I often go back and watch them a couple of times to get all the info down. The techniques are always new, and she is not afraid to show her mistakes on camera - which I greatly admire. SO, if you are in need of inspiration and new techniques, stop by and look! You won't be disappointed!

I promise to post pics of work I've done soon - when they are finished this week!

Last but not least, I started a separate Conversations with Mackenzie blog which you can view here
www.conversationswithmackenzie.blogspot.com

She's turned the big 05 now, and has the att-ti-tude to match. While I'm catching up on that blog too, I'll be dual posting. So here's her latest convo in a string of posts I like to call "Nice Mouth Mackenzie!". At the rate she is developing her more "colorful" vocabulary, I'm going to have to rename the string "You kiss your mother with that mouth?" or "Conversation's that embarrassed a sailor".

Last weekend my in-laws came up to our house for dinner. The boys (Papa (Grandpa), Hubs, and my son) went out to the driving range for golf while we girls worked on a Mother's Day photo collage. When the boys returned home from their outing, we girls (I was in a sling so really it was my M.O.M doing the work while we watched) were out trimming the cherry tree.

Papa climbed out of the car, and spotting Mackenzie asked "Whatcha doing Bits?"
Mackenzie "Oh nuthin'. Just screwing around"
Me (mouthing to my Father In Law with my eyes wide open in shock) Oh my gosh! I cannot believe she SAID THAT!

Then I remembered, that in a moment of frustration a few days before, when both kids were deliriously tired and over the top silly, not listening to my gentle "please get into bed" requests, I said "You two need to stop screwing around and get into bed!". Yep, that's right - it was ME - AGAIN - teaching her new colorful words. Geez!!!!

Conversations with Mackenzie

So there I was, enjoying a few minutes of quiet in my nice hot bath, when the little one walks in.

"Mom...?" she pauses... sighs... pauses again for dramatic effect "this is the problem. Today... at school... the kids were making fun of me because they said that I ate (insert another 5 year old child's name here) cheese stick, but I DIDN'T!"

She pauses again, then perks up and says "So you know what?" crosses her arms defiantly "It's time for pay backs!" (note to self - find the child's version of How to Win Friends and Influence People)

Me, innocently "What do you mean 'pay backs'?"

Her "You know...pay backs! Like if a kid be's mean to me (don't you love it when kids say "be's" instead of "is"?), then I'll be mean back to them! Like, if they kick someone, then you just...you know... (she has this incredulous look on her face as to WHY I don't know this) kick them back!" She didn't say 'Duh!' but I can hear it in her voice.

I'm still gathering my thoughts as to the best way to manage this situation, which she apparently interpreted as my being too stupid to understand what she is telling me.

She leans in, puts her hands on the side of the tub, makes very direct eye contact with me, slows her words down and says "Mom! LI-STEN to my words!"

I'm struggling not to laugh because I'm always telling her to "LI-STEN to what I am saying".

"Like if a kid kicks you? You kick them back!" shrugs her shoulders to emphasize the simpleness of her point. "If they kick you again, you just kick them back - but harder than what they kicked you! It's paybacks! See?"

Don't you feel bad for the first boy who tries to kiss her?

Adventures at the DMV

It’s been an adventurous day so far at my house. It started with taking the kids to their new private school. They were simultaneously nervous and excited, but not one left in tears! My youngest, my baby, started kindie today. I thought I would feel nostalgic, some sense of sadness, or at the vary least sentimental. I mostly felt relieved - that a prayer had been answered. I know they will be happy there. I hope they will. I’m sure they will, right? We haven’t gotten a call from the principal yet...yep, yet. I’ve yet to put my kids in a school that didn’t call me at least once in the first two weeks. You can read my past posts if you need a laugh and a peek into my circus of a life!

After drop off, hubby and I went home to go our separate ways. With no kids at home, and this my day off, it was difficult for us both to not play hookie for the day.

Last night we flew in from FL (yay vacation) to discover that another round of medical bills came in while we were gone totaling $1000.00. This total wasn’t nearly as traumatic as the last (10k), so we were thankful for that for a brief moment before overwhelm and frustration set in again. I mean, I’m sure that you, like me, have a spare $1000.00 just laying around for a rainy day, right? I got a good chunk of them paid this morning before my brain shut down. The rest will have to go on payment plans since we’ve already borrowed from the Bank of Mom and Dad to help with the last round. Don’t worry, a phone call to find an attorney is on my list.

This post is long, so it might be a good time to get a glass of your favorite beverage and settle in for a good read.

Before I could do that, I had to take care of one little tiny - okay huge thing. Apparently, my driver’s license expired. I didn’t realize it until I was already in FL. I know that makes it sound like it expired while I was gone, but it actually expired before that. Okay, it expired a lot before that - as in last April (YIKES!). Hubby had to send my passport to FL so I could board the flight home with a valid ID. Prior to leaving for the DMV, I looked up the wait times for renewing. Mornings are the best time, and it was already 10:30. The wait time was 1 hour 18 minutes. I needed to GO!

So here I am, as we speak, banging away at my keys at the DMV. Its called the Department of Licensing here though. I had a bit of trouble finding the place. They’ve moved since the last time I renewed. I didn’t realize that until I pulled up to find Lisa’s Nails now inhabiting their space. Enter my iphone (thank you folks at APPLE!). Utilizing my map ap and GPS, I was able to pull up their new location and get directions from my current location. I drove to their new place - only it was Mike’s Auto Motors which is apparently also closed. Plan B - time to call OnStar. I don’t actually have OnStar, but once, a female car sales person tried to get me to buy a newer model of the car I wanted b/c the newer (ergo more expensive model) had OnStar. I laughed thinking of all the times I’ve called poor hubby at work demanding to know “WHERE AM I?”. He always responded, trying not to laugh “I don’t know. Where are you?”. Me “I don’t know!!!! That’s why I called you.”. He was always able to figure out my location and give me directions on where to go, so when she dangled OnStar in front of me, I laughed while patting hubby on the shoulder and said “I’ve already got OnStar”. Hubby started laughing too. Our car lady didn’t understand the joke though.

So there I was, sitting in Mike’s Auto Motor’s parking lot, calling hubby. He stayed on the phone with me until I was able to locate it for real this time. Third times the charm, right? Only now, it’s noon - the time they tell you NOT to come b/c wait times are longer. Thankfully I brought a lap top and a couple of magazines. Confession, I brought a bag of Sour Patch candy too. The sour taste overwhelms my irritation with this waste of time and allows me to keep going. Don’t judge ;)

I took a deep breath when I saw bodies standing near the windows as I pulled in the parking lot. This trip was indeed going to eat up my afternoon and what little time I have to get my To Do list done prior to picking up the kids from school.

There’s a nice lady at the counter who gives me a number and directs me to sit down. I turn, and in front of me is a sea of chairs all filled with irritated people who have been waiting....and waiting...and waiting some more.

I found a spot between a normal looking gentleman and a nice looking lady. There was a bonus three seats between them which allowed me to sit in the middle with the requisite chair left between strangers. I sat down, prepared to wait. You know how when you sit down, you sometimes put your hand on the chair to guide you? Yeah - I did too - and there was GUM!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWW! I was prepared to wait, but I was most definitely NOT prepared for gum. Thankfully I haven’t unpacked from the flight, and my hand sanitizer was still in my quart zip lock bag for carry on from yesterday’s flight home.

Hands sanitized, I took out my magazine to start entertaining myself. Then I realized why there were so many chairs in between the gentleman and lady - Mr. Man had restless leg syndrome - or maybe ADHD. I don’t know but he had both legs going like a jack hammer, and I didn’t last long sitting there while my head was vibrated. Thankfully a chair opened up on the front row, and since most of those people looked normal, I decided it was safe to move.

I glance down at my number, R421. It's noon. I glance up at the screen, R 381. Hmmmm... this doesn’t look good.

It’s now 1:15 and they are on R396. Not even half way there. I’m putting my renewal in my calendar next time.

While I’m waiting, a pleasant voice comes on the PA, all heads look up at once, hopeful that she will call their number. One lucky person stands up, while the others look down in disappointment...again.

“Now serving R395 at counter number 5”. Another 10 minutes or more goes by and they have not called a new R number. Twenty minutes pass, and still no new numbers. Thirty minutes now, and she comes on the PA again “Now serving R396 at counter 11”. I’m not sure what R395’s problem was that she required THIRTY minutes to renew her license, but I can’t help but be irritated with her.

Now serving R397". They also have A numbers, E numbers, and F numbers in addition to the R numbers. The pleasant voice calls them out like some sort of sad BINGO game. “Now serving A117 at counter 2” “Now serving F99 at counter 5”. Just to mix it up, one of the random license people will yell out and actual name “JILL McMURPHY? JILL McMURPHY”. A random person from the sea of many arises and walks to the counter. I can’t help but think that someone should yell out “B-I-N-G-O!” at some point, or that Drew Carrey’s voice should announce us by name. “Kelly Smith, you’re the NEXT contestant on DOL” - that’s Dept. of Licensing in case you glossed over it earlier.

“Now serving R399 at counter 3” c’mon on 400!!!

It would certainly make this process more fun. I think they should also have door prizes - you would get a 'Chance card (like Monopoly) and it would say “WINDFALL” and you would get $10 off your license fee or “Move up 2 spaces” and you would get to jump ahead of the people who aren’t paying attention when the voice comes on the PA.

“Now serving R400 at counter 8” half way there!!!

Sitting here bored has left me thinking of ways the Dept. of Licensing could make this process more fun. I’m pretty sure if they had large bouncy houses like what you find at Jump Planet, none of us would really care WHAT number we were.

“Bradly Webber?” Bradly gets up and walks to the counter. Good luck Bradly. I hope that’s your ticket out of here.

“Now serving R401” only 20 more to go and it’s 1:30 already. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m actually going to pick my kids up today.

“Now serving R 402”...I’ve run out of things to say, so I’m signing off. Today’s lesson
‘Renew your license ON TIME, ONLINE, so you don’t have to wait at the DoL!’

Blog Update - a total of 2 hours and 15 minutes at the DoL, and I am the proud owner of the WORST picture I have ever had taken at the DMV - or in my life for that matter. She told me to tilt my chin down - and since tilting my chin down leads to a double chin, I look like I'm Jabba the Hut's sister. Nice! Ugh!

Look Mommy it's a parade!

We took a red eye to FL this year - FL is where I'm from originally. The kids were finally on a normal(ish) sleep cycle this past week, and then we took a red eye. Amazingly, they slept on the plane for three hours and hubby and I tried to sleep. All in all it was an uneventful trip - which we more than grateful for because all of our other pilgrimages home have led to disaster.

Join me as I stroll down memory lane...

By far my most harrowing plane ride took place over four years ago. My youngest was 3 months old which would make my oldest 4 at the time. She was in full swing of reflux and he was in full swing of hyperactive 4 year old. The ride down was relatively uneventful except for the blood clot I got from riding on the plane (that's another post all together). The vacation itself went well, and my wonderful mom was more than willing to get up in the night and feed the baby so I could get some much needed sleep. We got back on the plane and our first leg went fine as well. I managed to get the toddle and the baby through the airport to the second plane. They were both tired before we got on the plane, but neither would give into sleep. SO, by the end of 3 hours of our 4.5 hour flight, they were both postal. Since I had a baby, I had only purchased two seats - my first mistake. We were in the two seats over the wing - second mistake (it's too loud for kids to sleep there). I spent the better part of an hour in the aisle bouncing reflux girl while patting my crabby 4 year old who was prostrate on the seats crying. As we are approaching Seattle for our final decent (from my low perch in the aisle), I happen to notice that the flaps aren't up on the wings (they slow you down so you can land). About the time I'm going to call the flight attendant, she appears from the rear of the plane asking to look out our window. I point out the flaps and she politely asks me not to say anything to the other passengers. So now I, the flight attendant and the pilots all know that the flaps aren't up. About this time, the pilot comes on the radio telling us "these airplanes have a lot of light and switches. We've confirmed that our flaps aren't up, but we don't know if our landing gear came down. We're pretty sure it did, but we have to fly by the tower for a look". We have to WHAT?!?! I felt like I was in some sort of Lifetime movie of the week! I'm trying my damnedest not to panic - especially in front of my kids but I'm close to failing miserable at it.

So, we fly by the tower, and the captain confirms that the landing gear is down (YAY!). We still have the flaps problem though. The captain then tells us that we are going to circle for a bit to try to slow the plane down prior to landing. I'm thinking to myself "..and dump fuel so we don't explode when we land'. Thirty minutes later, the captain comes on and says this - I swear to you I am NOT making this up "Okay, ladies and gentlemen, we need to make sure that your seat belts are fastened, your tray tables are up and your seats in their full upright position. We're going to come in hard and fast when we land. Right before we land I'm going to come on and say "BRACE, BRACE, BRACE" Now when I say that, I want you to brace yourselves as best as possible. If you have small children, try to place one hand in front of their torso's. If you have infants in arms (hi - that would be me on both accounts) place them in a carrier or hold onto them as best you can. I will be back on just before we land. Okay here we go". I'm pretty sure my normally ghost white skin had turned translucent by now. I'm trying hard not to freak out in front of my kids, and trying to figure out how I'm going to brace the three of us for "landing". I also couldn't decide if I should call my husband to say our final goodbye's or pray for the best. I decided on the latter. Somehow making that phone call made it all too real - and I preferred the semi state of denial I was already in.

About this time, the captain says "BRACE, BRACE, BRACE" - I use my mom seat belt arm to hold my oldest back on my left, I death drip the baby who is already in a Baby Bjourn (aka Baby Fly Paper) and throw my foot up on the seat in front of me hoping to wedge myself in. And then we landed - hard - only there were no fire balls, no explosions, and no cartwheels of the plane. You can't imagine the collective sigh of relief that came from all the passengers.

We came to an abrupt stop on the runway. I look as we are stopping and it is only then that I notice all of the fire trucks and ambulances lining both sides of the runway. At which point my son yells out on the plane "LOOK MOMMY! FIRE TRUCKS!" all heads turn our direction. A moment later, a firemen (woman?) comes over in their full head to toe silver fire gear which prompts my son to yell out "LOOK MOMMY! IT'S A SPACE MAN!" all heads turn our direction again. The captain comes on to explain that we came in fast and stopped hard which creates heat around the wheels and brakes. The firemen/women were coming to make sure our tires weren't ON FIRE!!! Once they gave us the all clear, the plane started taxiing toward the terminal - and the ambulances and firetrucks fell in line behind us and my son yells "LOOK MOMMY! IT'S A PAH-RADE!!! All heads turn toward us again then quickly out their windows to watch the parade too. And ever since then, I get a bit twitchy on planes.

A Tall Girls Revenge

Well, I would venture to guess that most of you reading my blog haven't met me in person. If you had, you would know that I'm 6' tall. Not 5'12" not 5'11" - just plain old 6 feet. I'm not what you would call small. I am half German and half Irish/English - big thighs and linebacker shoulders were a forgone conclusion. I don't say that with a value assigned to it or to be self deprecating. I'm just not little no matter how you slice it. Additionally, as if all of those 'make-fun-of-me' attributes weren't enough, I was cursed with very long legs. Seriously - I wear my shirts untucked to try to balance out my proportionately long legs which comprise a good 2/3's of my body.

As a child/youth, clothing did not fit me without a punchline being attached to it. Thankfully my mother had the same problem, and her mother taught her how to sew. Ironically, her mother (my beloved Grandma Shumann aka "Gerty") was NOT tall. I don't mean to say that she was a little shorter than my mom and I, or that she was vertically challenged - I mean to say that girlfriend was SHORT! Not petite - SHORT! On a very tall day, first thing in the morning, she was maybe 4'11". Seriously. She had what we affectionately referred to as 'The Runt Gene" Each generation, at least one family member benefits from The Runt Gene. I have a 35" inseam, so it wasn't me - the understatement of the year! I was hoping that my 4 year old would get it, but I just bought her size 12 kids shoes - and Shrek feet like that only mean one thing in my family - that she didn't get it either!

Anyway, my mom made skirts for me well into my teen years. Thankfully I lived in FL and could wear leggings with mini skirts even in the Winter, thus avoiding the high water pants situation which led to further tall girl jokes. And yes, it does get cold in January and February in FL. Seriously - it gets down into the teens. Mom taught me how to sew, and eventually, I took over my own clothing making. I'm well into my 30's, and the invention of "long" or "tall" pants did not arrive until the last 10 years. Even so, it usually meant that they lengthened the inseam 2 inches but didn't change the crotch - seriously - we are tall everywhere people! These days, more and more companies are carrying Tall clothing, and even more of them seem to understand that there is a difference between a longer inseam and tall size clothing. Hallelujah!

Unfortunately, this bit of information has not made it to the capri field yet where one size is still supposed to fit all. I know the rules - they are supposed to make short women look shorter and tall women look...well, shorter. Unfortunately, they usually come to just below our knees which isn't cute on any day. I like to buy inexpensive jeans and cut them off, re-hem them and voila - capri's. As I've stated in earlier posts, I am currently unable to sew at the moment, so my usual trick would not work this summer. I could wear last years pants if they fit - but a year of bed rest has not made me thinner!

As I was searching for my size and style jeans in one store, I realized that they are also making shorter inseams which they have cleverly marketed to petite women as "short". Really!? It's just an inseam change though. I tried them on - and "short" length pants actually fit me more like capri's! Finally! The Tall Girl gets her revenge!!! So I went back to said store tonight, who is having a sale right now, and bought two more pairs. Why oh why didn't I think of this earlier?

PS - I bought two long pairs too so I can wear them with flats - yes - flats! I wear them with heels too - but I have to pull them down a bit. Yes, I wear heels! I'm 6 feet barefoot, and you can add inches from there! Now, living in Seattle as I do, and being 6' tall with linebacker shoulders, it should really come as no surprise, that I am occasionally stopped by drag Queens who may not initially realize that I am a woman. They get distracted by my size 12 heels. Seriously. It's usually good for a laugh, and we trade secrets about where to shop. Thanks to one truly fantastic Queen - I learned where to buy my size 12 heels. Before that, I had been squeezing into tiny little size 11's! So I say, long live my Queens!

PPS - I know the grass is always greener and all, but I promise you, you really don't want to be this tall. A good 5'8" or 5'9' would be ideal. 6' has lots of issues - besides clothing, the average male in the United States is 5'10". This means at least 70% of the men in my country are shorter than I am! I'd like to tell you that it's different in European countries, but the last time I went, they all seemed even shorter than that. I don't exactly blend.

Also, people always want you to reach items for them on the next shelf. I'm used to it now, but being singled out as a kid was embarrassing.

People like to ask you two questions when you are tall #1 "How tall are you?' like you're a long lost relative of Andre the Giant. #2 "Do you play basketball?" - because you know, if we are going to use sweeping generalizations, all short people are jockeys and all of us tall peeps are b-ballers!

Oh, and from time to time, a man in the South (when I'm visiting) will make the unfortunate mistake of saying "Wow! You're really tall for a woman". To which I (equally rudely) reply "I know. You're kind of short for a man, aren't you?". It's strange, but the conversation always seems to end then ;)

One last tip you might want to know, we're sensitive about our shoe size. So unless you're a drag Queen, or equally Shrek footed, it's best to steer clear of this question. It's like asking any other woman what her pant's size is. lol

Convo's w/Jack (age 7) on my aparent lack of technology know how

Hubby got a new iPad last week. I've been playing around with it, and I would agree with my son when he said "It's just a giant iPhone" with a 'what's so great about that' tone. How would he know this bit of technology wisdom? We own iPhones too. Apparently, he forgot that fact today when we had the following conversation in the car:
Jack "Mackenzie, where's that game you were just playing on (the iPad)?"
Mack "I don't know"
Me "Hand it to me"
Jack "Dad, do you know?"
Dad "No"
Me "Hand it to me"
Jack (like he's warning me that I am about to test a nuclear device with no knowledge of nuclear technology) "it's an iPad"
Me "I know. Hand it to me"
Jack - hands it to me while saying "but it's an iPad, Mom" as if it might blow up in my hands were I to touch the wrong Ap!
Me (to my husband) "Does he really think I am that technologically inept? I know all kids surpass their parents on the technology spectrum at some point, but really? The iPad?"

I push the the icon for the correct Ap in a matter of seconds, hand it back to him silently and he says "Oh" but you could hear the 'I had no idea you weren't hopeless in the realm of technology, Mom' tone in his voice.

Seriously - the iPad?

Just one of those days!!

Yep - it was one of those days. You mom's know the type of day I'm talking about...the long ones, that don't end! I'm reminded of the mom who came up with a t-shirt that has a picture of her daughter in a full on meltdown. The phrase said "Got kids? Want mine?" I don't know that mom, but I feel a kinship with her right now...

The day started off just fine with our jaunt to high tea. You can read about that in my last post.

Then shortly after we got home, it just took a wrong turn!

Usually my two are buddies - no, I'm not just saying that. Typically they like to play together in the absence of other children. (If only I could find a way to keep spare children around my house - j/k). Since both hubby and I have ADHD, it should come as no surprise that both of our kids have it too! That's the beauty of ADHD though, you tend to forget things, sometimes important things, like that YOU have it. Well, we double dosed them in the DNA department. In hindsight, maybe not our best idea, but we wouldn't trade them for the world. Okay - some days....

Anyway, my oldest is active or exuberant as we like to say. He loved attention when he was younger - he especially loved a good audience. My youngest, like most babies, loved to be entertained. They were a match made in heaven - He could spin in circles and jump and make funny faces, and she would laugh and laugh. It's no wonder that she adores him to this day. However, despite another 4 years of growth, she still expects him (subconciously) to entertain her. If he isn't willing to oblige (sometimes he just wants a few minutes to himself - and don't we ALL know that feeling?) she takes matters into her own hands - sometimes its her feet too. She's mostly past the biting phase now.

I have a few weapons in my mom arsenal for really tough days like these. I hoard them like Weight Watchers chocolate ice cream bars until a desperate moment presents itself. Around 2 pm, just such a moment occurred.

They tried playing together - but she wanted to play princess, and he wanted play wizard. He offered to be her "wizard bodyguard" but she insisted that she did not NEED protection. Insert escalating moment here. He insisted that she did and she reluctantly agreed on the condition that she could order him around. I have to insert one extra factoid - she has a best friend - whom we'll call Hally (b/c I haven't asked Hally's parents if I can add her real name to this blog).

The game went like this:
M "You have to go look for bad guys!"
J "Okay" (shrugs his shoulders the way guys do like you just told him he had to play video games) - he dramatically takes up his search stance then declares "OH NO MACKENZIE!"
she interrupts "That's Princess Mackenzie"
he ignores her and continues on. "Look there's Kyle (another friend whose name I have changed)!"
M "GET HIM!!!"
J "STUPIFY! STUPIFY! STUPIFY!"
M "YESSSSSSS! You got him!"
J "Hey, you should thank me for protecting you"
she ignores him
J "OH NO! THERE'S HALLY! SPECIFICUS TOTALIS!"
M "JAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKK! NO! NOT HALLY! YOU - ARE - PLAY-ING - THIS WRONG!!!" growls for emphasis - because, you know, Princesses growl, right?

And right at the moment - they left Friendship Island and turned into the Bickerson's, party of 2. Seeing that I needed to intervene, I went to my mom weapons depot, loaded up two pop up tunnels, and 26 one foot square alphabet foam blocks. I told them I thought they could make an obstacle course. They were very excited for the first few minutes when they had the same ideas. But then she wanted to put the letter 'Z' back in the foam outline, and he declared it was his....and they were off to the races again. Sigh...

I tried every trick I know to manage these two today - cooperation, reframing, using I statements, rationalization, democracy, problem solving.... - but each time, they were back at it again.

I finally gave up, and turned on TV. I can only handle so much bickering and intervening - and 90 minutes is apparently my max. I was done - but she was not. And then he started too.

Now I don't about your kids, but the models I own don't have the volume control upgrade. More than once I have searched their person for a volume control nob, and I'm telling you - these two just do not have one! I was hoping to at least get "Store Mode" installed by the age of 7, but so far the programming still needs tweaking. Neither of them seems to have easy access to "Sleep Mode" either, and the little one apparently came pre-programmed with a lengthy list of what I call "Bullshit reasons I can't go to bed". Don't worry - I only call them that to my husband (and now you). I prefer to just teach them the four letter words - not the seven letter ones. The little one also came with bite, kick, pinch and scratch mode which my oldest one does not have - or at least refuses to access despite parental encouragement to "hit her back". SO, I was particularly startled to find that they both have GPS and had apparently found the short cut to my LAST NERVE! I was just about to full on lose it myself - I think that t-shirt would be a picture of me having my own meltdown, and it would read "Got Parents? Want mine?".

Then blissfully, like a knight in shining armor, in walked my husband from work - and out walked I - right out the front door, to my car, and off to go get a massage. Don't worry, I kissed hubby before I left.

Amazingly, he was able to rally the two of them before I got home. I was very impressed at his ability to get the Bickerson's back to Friendship Island. Then he asked them to clean up the foam blocks - and they started in again. It was a little validating...okay, really validating...that it wasn't just with me. It was just one of those days..

Tomorrow is another day - and I see a long trip to the park in store so I can get them both to "Too tired to argue" mode. :)