Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Conversations with Mackenzie

So there I was, enjoying a few minutes of quiet in my nice hot bath, when the little one walks in.

"Mom...?" she pauses... sighs... pauses again for dramatic effect "this is the problem. Today... at school... the kids were making fun of me because they said that I ate (insert another 5 year old child's name here) cheese stick, but I DIDN'T!"

She pauses again, then perks up and says "So you know what?" crosses her arms defiantly "It's time for pay backs!" (note to self - find the child's version of How to Win Friends and Influence People)

Me, innocently "What do you mean 'pay backs'?"

Her "You know...pay backs! Like if a kid be's mean to me (don't you love it when kids say "be's" instead of "is"?), then I'll be mean back to them! Like, if they kick someone, then you just...you know... (she has this incredulous look on her face as to WHY I don't know this) kick them back!" She didn't say 'Duh!' but I can hear it in her voice.

I'm still gathering my thoughts as to the best way to manage this situation, which she apparently interpreted as my being too stupid to understand what she is telling me.

She leans in, puts her hands on the side of the tub, makes very direct eye contact with me, slows her words down and says "Mom! LI-STEN to my words!"

I'm struggling not to laugh because I'm always telling her to "LI-STEN to what I am saying".

"Like if a kid kicks you? You kick them back!" shrugs her shoulders to emphasize the simpleness of her point. "If they kick you again, you just kick them back - but harder than what they kicked you! It's paybacks! See?"

Don't you feel bad for the first boy who tries to kiss her?