Conversations with My 7 year old - science projects

My 7 year old has a play date this weekend. I told him he needed to clean his room. He told me that his play date also had a messy room and wouldn't mind. And then this happened.

Me "You should still clean up your room so you can find your toys."

Him "Yeah, probably. I've been doing a LOT of science experiments lately." he leans in as if he is sharing a juicy secret. "I'm not following the directions though".

Me [inwardly groaning. GEEZ! What did he do now?] I nod my head and he continues.

"I'm just making up my own experiments. " he say confidently.

[me - NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]

"I made a potion" he says proudly

[me - CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! I knew I shouldn't have encouraged learning at home]

"It spilled" he informs me nonchalantly.

[me - Well, of course it spilled!]

Note to self - Do we have matches?
2nd Note to self - Check house for matches. Hide if found.

"I should probably clean that up. Nahhhhh" he says waving it away.

[me - WHAT!? WHAT!? Nah? YES YOU SHOULD CLEAN THAT UP! YOU SHOULD HAVE CLEANED THAT UP WHEN IT SPILLED! Oh god - when did it spill? Is that what the smell is in his room? I thought it was rotten food or a milk cup!]

Conversations with myself - 'Okay - don't yell, don't yell. Deep breath and stay calm. Put on your patient mother face and keep an explanatory tone. Do I even want to know what was in that potion? No, NO, I definitely don't want to know. Stay calm, count to ten, and start.'

Me "First, you're not allowed to do science experiments by yourself. [why the HELL did he think he could do science experiments by HIMSELF!?] Second, if something spills in your room [like the time the egg cracked (it's a future post - you don't want to miss it)] you need to clean it up right then or come get me or Daddy so we can help you".

Him (head hanging) "Sorry, Mom."

Me "I still love you."

Him (head hanging a little less) "I love you too. I'm really sorry, Mom".

Me "I know." [you always are, buddy]

Easter Slacker

Well, it's official. We can add slacker to my list of transgressions against my Mother of the Year award, henceforth referred to as the MoY. I had a mother son date with my oldest (newly age 7 as I write this). Only lately has he been interested in my husband and I again, so we are taking all the opportunities we can get. Anyway, we went to the mall and passed by all the Easter stuff. I silently promised myself that I would return to pick up goodies for my two cherub's baskets. I had another three or four days left until the big E (who can remember time when you have two young children), so I decided to put it off until later. The next day passed, and then the next - there was an Estate Sale with a new friend-girl followed by tea at the most divine tea house I have ever been too - and then there were the Estate Sale treasures we found - but that is another post. In any case, Estate Sale day came and went, and still I had not Easter shopped. I wasn't worried though because I knew I had two more days to pull it together.

On Good Friday, I made my first attempt at sanding one of my Estate Sale treasures. This was a massive mistake on my part as I am still recovering from a car accident(s). So, neck, shoulders and back now screaming at me (and a pounding headache to round out that trifecta), I spent the rest of the day in bed - irritated and medicated. I was supposed to visit the new scrapbook store in town with another friend-girl, but she didn't get back in town in time. It worked out anyway - I was still in bed.

Today, Saturday that is, I had made plans to visit a third friend girl who had recently given birth. She was in desperate need of some girl/mommy time. Her beautiful new baby was nothing like her first baby. My friend girl was now learning one of the hard mommy lessons - you think you have it figured out with the first one and go confidently and competently into the second only to realize (a bit too late) that each one needs it's own individual operators manual. My friend girl was sleep deprived, in need of some hot food and a kind soul to bring her hot Starbuck's. I'm always willing to oblige a fellow addict when it comes to the big S - so I brought her two drinks instead of one. She was more than grateful. As it turns out, her baby is beyond super cute and snacky, and she loves to snuggle. I got almost two hours of baby snuggle time - and I haven't had that in a good three years or so. I know it sounds like I've digressed, but I'm circling back around to my point right now. I stayed a bit longer than I intended to, and even my husband had to text me to ask about dinner. I told him I was holding this sweet baby and seriously thinking about taking her home. He laughed and suggested I pick up McD's on my way back. By the time I got home with dinner, fed the children, bathed them, washed the little one's hair and pinned her down for a tangle comb out, trim and blow dry, it was 8:45 pm. It was long past their bed time, my Saturday before Easter (and it's shopping time) was gone, and now I could add McD's and late bed time to my list of transgressions against the MoY.

Trying to save time tonight, and secretly knowing this was NOT a good idea, I sweet talked my husband into running to the store for said Easter goodies. I asked him to pick up a bag of small Reese's peanut butter cups and two hollow chocolate bunnies - I demonstrated small circles for the former and approximated six inches for the latter. I should back up for a second to say this - I have a great husband, but he is NOT a great grocery shopper. He tries - but unless I am specific, he usually gets the wrong thing. I thought I was specific enough this time, gesticulating wildly to him what I was looking for when I sent him on his way. Pleased that I had solved my own dilemma, and truly thankful that he was saving my slacker mom ass, I turned my attention towards getting the kids in bed. Hubby came home all smiles and proudly showed me the bag...with six gigantic Reese's peanut butter eggs and two, twelve inch tall solid chocolate bunnies. My heart sank, but I had a back up bag of jelly beans. I thought I would be okay. Dont worry - I did not breathe a word of this to said wonderful husband. Nothing will dash future grocery store runs by him than my complaining that he got the wrong thing. Like laundry and mopping, I some day hope to have him trained in the fine art of grocery shopping. Okay - now I am digressing. Back to the story.

I looked at the sad bag of candy, the sad bag of jelly beans that I had already gotten into, and the baskets no longer looked as promising as I had hoped. Then I got to thinking about the items I had for their baskets this year, and comparing them to previous years baskets, I felt, well, like a crappy mom. I hemmed and hawed for a good thirty minutes or so while completing my farm chores on Facebook/Farmville and Country Life (lord, but I have a sick addiction to that game). I tried really hard to justify not going back to the store to pick up what I really wanted. I told myself that the kids would just be happy to GET candy since it's a rarity in our house. Slacker mom didn't win out though - guilt mom did. And there I was - at 11:30 pm the Saturday night before Easter, trapezing back out to the store to get what I really wanted for their baskets.

When I returned home, hubby had already pulled down the Easter paraphernalia and placed it in my craft room chair for my perusal. Did I mention that I also had not yet planned their Easter Egg hunt? In any case, at the predawn hour of 1:00 am, I got it all ready to go. I first had to repair the broken handle of the little ones basket which had mysteriously broken as it rested in the Easter paraphernalia box all year. I would like to tell you that I did something crafty and beautiful but I didn't - I used duct tape. If I could have found the box o' bows left over from Christmas, I would have happily covered up that duct tape in the hopes she wouldn't notice. But I couldn't find said box of bows, and the curved handle now has a distinct corner in it. You could say it's more of a redneck basket theme this year (and yes, I can say redneck - they're my people). As I picked out plastic eggs that coordinated with the cheap baskets, I couldn't help but notice that several of the plastic eggs were heavier than others. There was leftover Pez in the bottom of their baskets and unopened candy.

I sat back and laughed as I opened up still full plastic Easter Eggs from last year that they hadn't eaten. I felt truly silly for worrying so much about the contents of their Easter baskets when clearly - the candy wasn't that important to them.

Happy Easter everyone. Pictures to follow.